Home.

      I know, I am way over due for a new blog post. I keep telling myself that once I finish all the photo editing I have to do I can update my blog..but at this point I don't know if that will ever happen. As I finish some sessions more sessions come and they just pile up. Also, I think the fact that I am so behind on blogging and so much has happened is intimidating to me, so that may be another reason why I have waited so long.
      So where do I start..Oh my.
In my last post I had mentioned that we were looking for a home. Well, we bought one! We looked long and hard and eventually got so discouraged. We had almost given up for a while when this one house kind of fell into our laps last minute. It was meant to be I guess. Remember how I had mentioned before that my dream since I was a little girl was to live by Liberty Park with my dogs? Well, it's right by Liberty and I walk my dogs there often. Thats right..I said dog(s)! I'll get into that in a bit.)
This house we found worked out great for us because it is an old home that has been flipped, so it has the old character that I love with the new updates that Burt loves. It's the most beautiful house. If it were right by a sunny beach it would be my exact dream home.
We have lived here for about 6 months now and it's almost finished being decorated. We just need to fill up a couple walls and we'll be all set! It defiantly feels like home and when we are away I miss it terribly. I don't think I have ever felt homesick for anywhere else I have lived before until recently. Maybe it's because I have been gone a lot more than normal lately it seems like.

      Now, backing up to dogs..we have a new addition in our little family. Burt and I are now outnumbered by animals and I love it that way. We got Wyld (a cute little german shepherd mix) at the same place we got Vater. (Second Chances for Homeless Pets) She was 12 weeks when we got her so we had to go through all the dumb puppy training. I forgot how hard it was to have a puppy. I can honestly say though, Vater is a huge help! Without him I don't think I would of been able to do it. She has too much energy. To be honest, Wyld had to grow on me a bit. She has always been a good dog but the puppy stages are tough. A crazy ball of energy (which she still is) that chewed on everything and peed everywhere. Not fun at all! Now she is about 6 months and is completely potty trained and has finally realized what she can and can't chew on. She has become a really great dog and I love her and Vater both the same, which is a ridiculous amount. Her and Vater are perfect for each other too. They play all day and I can't imagine my life without either of them. Wyld also gets along with Bhoomi and sometimes tries to kiss him..However, Bhoomi doesn't feel the same way about her.

      I recently booked my first (of many I hope) out of state weddings! I got to fly to Washington D.C. to photograph some bridals and a wedding day. It was beautiful there! Since I was out there for a few days I had a chance to go sight seeing a bit. I didn't want to go alone so I signed up for a tour. It ended up being a bus of about 8 old ladies and myself. We became friends instantly as they asked me how to use their iPhone cameras. It was neat to see all the things I have only heard about and seen in movies, but it was lonely at the same time seeing it all by myself, only having random strangers to share those moments with. It was especially tough going back to an empty hotel room every night. The front desk lady had a liking for me and noticed I was going in and out alone so she would give me a cookie every now and then. People say that everyone in Utah is sooo nice, but every single person I met while in DC was amazing! I would sit and have 30 minute conversations with random people I would come across. I want to go back soon. I miss the awesome people and the humidity. Oooohhh, humidity, I love you! But I do not miss driving by myself in that crazy busy city and trying to find places to park! I would not want to live there, but would be happy to visit very often! Good thing I have a couple good friends who live there. That gives me more of an excuse.
      I have been very lucky with all the weddings I was able to photograph this year. They were all so beautiful and I have loved every single bride and groom. I finally had a chance to calculate how many wedding I have done this year and I more than doubled what I did last year! I thought doing this full time would be so scary and hard. I honestly didn't believe in myself and figured I would be job hunting a few months in..now here I am almost an entire year later doing pretty well I think. I have learned a ton and feel that my photography skills have progressed so much in just one year. I cannot wait to see where I am at in another year from now. Don't get me wrong, I doubt myself many times, even still. It's hard to not get discouraged. Maybe it's just how it goes being in such a creative industry. But I found that being in a rut only means I am learning more. I know that when I get out of that rut I will be better than I was before. I say I know this, but it's hard to always keep that in mind.

      One thing I have noticed I need to do to help myself not get discouraged about my work or anything is to keep myself feeling good about myself. I make sure to spent lots of time outdoors hiking or even just taking my dogs out. I also joined a Bikram yoga studio. Changed my life, I swear. I have always done yoga, but bikram really helped me in a lot of ways that regular yoga and working out can't. I also recently got a personal trainer so I have a very strict workout schedule and document everything I eat every day. I'm gonna get feeling my best again! I can't wait! I missed the feeling of being a 'workoutaholic' and I am finally back there again.

Woohoo!

Our home.

Vater in our Kitchen

 Vater in our home on moving day!

 My little Wyld. (she already looks so much bigger!)

By myself at the white house.

Vietnam memorial.

TMI

      I took my dog, Vater, to Liberty park with my sister and her kids today. As I was walking him I thought of this plan I had for myself when I was young. When I was just a little girl Liberty park amazed me. I didn't get to go there often but when I did I always had the time of my life playing in the water area, on the playgrounds and watching fireworks. I would watch people pass me with their furry friends and told myself that when I grew up I was going to live by Liberty park and bring my dog there too. It was a simple dream, I know, but that's how I always saw myself. Now here I am, living in the city, taking my furry best friend to Liberty park...livin' my dream. Ha.
      Today was Vaters first time visiting that park and he loved it. He wasn't too excited about having to stay on his leash, but boy did he looove all the attention he was getting from all the little kids and adults! He is a big, beautiful dog so lots of people stop to ask me what breed he is and will pet him. Sweet Vater just kisses everyone and will roll over on his back to have his belly rubbed. Even the tiniest kids aren't intimidated by his size, he really has a sweetness in him that they can sense.

      I realized today Vater and I have a much stronger connection then I thought. It started this morning when my Aunt Flo came to visit. (Crimson wave, shark week, red tide, redwing, women's trouble, whatever you choose to call it.) Vater seemed a bit worries about me when he saw I was in pain. While at the park I had my sister hold his leash while I ran to the bathroom. He tried to follow me and almost pulled my sister with him, he is so strong! When I came walking back she let go and he came running to me, jumping up to kiss me on the face a few times, acting releaved I had returned and was ok.
      When we returned home later the pain had gotten worse and Vater could definitely see it. I sat down on the bed and did what every girl on her period and in pain does, I cried. I don't think Vater has ever seen my cry, I don't do that often. He hated it. I flopped down on the bed still crying and Vater jumped up,  kissed me a few times on the cheek, then layed his head on my chest and whined. He may not have known exactly what was going on but he didn't like it at all. When I felt  a little better I got my pint of dairy free chocolate ice cream  from the freezer and sat on the couch while Vater followed me the entire time then sat right next to me. He is still right by my while I lay on the couch in wide child's pose because that's the only thing that makes me feel better. I don't mean to give TMI, but it melted my heart how Vater has been today. He was meant to be a part of this little family. I can't imagine that smiley, furry man not being in my life. I'm one lucky girl for sure.

Just look at that face!

       Burt and I recently went to cancun and I couldn't believe how much I missed Vater and Bhoomi! (My bird) We had so much fun though. We definitely needed that little vacation. It was only one week but it seemed so much longer! Maybe because we did so many things. We relaxed on the beach a lot, went to both Tulum and Chichen Itza, and a park called Xplor . It's a real underground cave and we got to swim through while bats flew around above us. We got to ATV and zip line while there as well. We also got to snuba dive at a place called Xelha. Everything was so much fun! We even went to a popular night club called Coco Bongo. It's more of a circus then a night club I think.
      I absolutely fell in love with the beach in Cancun! The sand is soo white and the water is so blue, clear and warm!  I found lots of gorgeous seashells and brought a huge bag of them home. I'm excited to make something out of them. I really miss Cancun and all the people there! I immediately downloaded Spanish lessons when I got home!

      I'm sick of typing, so until next time! 

<3

   

Desert Child.

      Every day I think to myself 'I'm going to write a blog post today.' But every day times seems to fly by and I don't get a chance. A big part of the reason I haven't been posting is because I just don't know what to write about. Even though I know that if I just sit and start typing too many things will come to mind and I won't be able to stop. Thats what always happens. I'm one of those people that thinks way too much. My mind wanders constantly and never stops. It can be a good thing because I am constantly daydreaming and come up with some awesome thoughts and ideas, but a lot of the time thinking too much can turn negative.
      I'm not going to lie, owning my own business and working a lot from home is really hard. The 'owning a business' part is of course a challenge, but the thing that gets me the most is having a lot of time in my head. The weather hasn't helped. I'm not complaining, it's a lot warmer then it should be this early in March, but it's not Summer time either. I thrive on sun.
      I recently went to Moab with a good friend of mine who is also self employed. We figured we would take advantage of that and go on a little trip right in the middle of the week since we can! Moab was amazing. I have been many times before, but it has never been like this. I don't know if my eyes are a lot more open since I last went, but for some reason I saw so much more. The views everywhere are unreal. We went on the perfect days too, right before spring break started, and on the warmest days before the rain clouds came. We hiked in only tank tops and shorts, we got some crazy tan lines. We hiked over 25 miles in the 2 days we were there. It's literally all we did. We would wake up early, eat, then go hike, hike, hike! Only stopping to eat on the trail or stare at the fantastic views. I think I could live like that forever.

Arches National Park- Delicate Arch (Thats me in the center of it)

      The trails in Moab are the best too! It's so much different then your typical mountain trail hike. The trails in Moab are not trails, they are just climbing rock after rock. If it weren't for the cairns (the little piles of rocks to mark trails) you would be completely lost and end up who knows where. We climbed so high you literally feel on top of the world. The birds flying around were even below or at the same level as us. The entire time hiking you could look in any direction and just be in awe. I feel like in the mountains that is not as easy, lots of large trees and hills in your way. Another huge difference that I noticed was the silence. If you just stood and listened you would literally hear nothing. No sound of cars, no birds (except the occasional Raven's caw) not even any wind rustling through leaves.

Arches National Park

      Somehow, even in such silence, my mind was able to stay quiet. Even at times when my mind wasn't completely quiet it was still calm. I think in that environment it is impossible to have a negative thought. I felt as though if I were to feel any more positivity I would start floating up into the air and fly, all I was missing was pixie dust. Ha.

Canyonlands National Park- Murphy's Overlook (My favorite place on the planet!)

      I always thought the desert was ugly, even after being in Moab many times in the past. I thought forests and mountains were my thing. They aren't. For the first time ever I will admit, I am a desert child..the beach is right up there with it, though.

Canyonlands National Park- Murphy's Overlook

Canyonlands National Park- Island in the Sky

Canyolands National Park- Mesa Arch

Canyonlands National Park

(NONE of these photos do the views justice!)

I need to hike more. Weather it be in the desert, forest, snow, whatever, it's the best feeling. It would be so easy for me to take my dog and just go hiking every single morning, however, I am scared to death of going alone. Too many things can happen, you just never know. In fact, a good friend of mine fell off a cliff and died while hiking up in Provo Canyon by himself. The anniversary of his death was yesterday. It has been 4 years.

Crazy.

      Since coming home from Moab I have actually had an idea in my head for a new painting. If I ever get around to painting what is in my head I will show you.

      Speaking of painting, I miss it. I used to paint a lot when I had my own space to do so. A space where I won't be interrupted and can make a mess without having to clean it up right away and not be judged for it. I have always been the kind of artist who, for some reason, likes working on the floor. I had an easel and would never use it. Even sitting at a desk won't work. I like the floor. It's the only place that I have enough space to sprawl out and be surrounded by my paint and brushes. I like to be close to my work, lose myself in it. Living in little apartments it has been very difficult to do that. I have tried, but for some reason not having my own little area completely throws off my groove. Especially in my apartment now with a big dog begging for my attention 24/7.
      Burt is always asking me to paint. He knows it's something I love to do and I think it bothers him that I am not doing what I love and have loved my entire life. But good news! I will soon have my own space. Burt and I are in the process of looking for a home. I am unbelievably excited! Already the process of looking for a home has been so much better then the last! Last time I was in the market for a house I didn't have much say in what I wanted. I ended up buying the third home I looked at and didn't even love it. Burt and I have similar taste when it comes to house style. (mine may be a bit more particular, but he is ok with that.) We have already been looking at many homes online and talk about houses with each other, and of course, watch HGTV too much. We will be going out and looking at homes as soon as this weekend or early next week. I am excited for Burt and I to have our own spaces to create, him with his music and me with my art. I can't wait! I have been getting so much inspiration I know that as soon as I have a space to unleash it I am going to explode.

      Look at that, I always start a post with absolutely nothing to write about and somehow I always end up with way too long of a blog post. I'm sure I could still go on and on but I won't. I'll save the rest for next time, which hopefully will be soon. No promises.

      Oh! ..I finally have a logo for my photography business. I am so happy about it! I told the artist creating it that I need a photography logo and I love happiness and sunshine..she did an excellent job combining the two. It couldn't be any more 'me'.

There it is! A shutter as a sun.

Genius.

(Here is a little video I made from our trip!)

CLICK HERE

RIP- Porter Fisher

This is one of the last photos ever taken of Porter..if not the very last. I took this picture with my old point and shoot digital camera at Kilby Court. This just shows how important a picture can be to someone. He had this photo set as his profile picture on Facebook and still to this day everyone reposts this photo of him. He was so excited about it when I sent it to him. I'm so glad I was able to capture something so special for him to enjoy and now his family and friends to remember him by.

<3 

The Future is Exciting.

      First, I would like to say..I did keep up on my photo challenge, for quite a while actually. The only problem is that I didn't always have time to put the photos onto my computer so they stayed in my memory card on my camera. Well, I was doing a photo shoot one day and formatted my card so all those pictures are now lost. I actually had some pretty cool ones too. I am going to start over, but I have decided to start on the 1st.

      Can you believe it's already pretty much 2014?! I can't. I keep hearing everyone talking about their goals and what they would like to accomplish in this upcoming new year and it's really got me thinking. I don't typically make new year goals because I tend to forget about them. This year, though, there are some things I would like to improve. Not specifically any goals I would like to hit or anything, just some things I think I can work on. Thats one great thing about having a new year, feeling like you have another chance at things and to better yourself. A fresh start..

      Although 2012 was one of the most difficult years I have ever had to deal with, 2013 ended up being almost a million times better. There are things from 2012 that kind of rolled into 2013 I am still having to deal with, but the fact that 2013 was so much of an improvement from 2012 I expect 2014 to be even a million times better than that!

      So far I will be starting off the new year very much under the weather. I have whatever it is that is going around, coughing up my guts and what not, but I am not going to let that stop me from celebrating the end of 2013! 2013 deserves to be celebrated for me. I feel that I accomplished so much and improved myself in so many ways. Not only that but I changed my entire life, literally! I moved a LOT, met the most amazing people and have so many of the closest friends that in 2012 I hardly even knew or hadn't even met yet. And not to mention, met the most amazing man and have had the opportunity to not just spend all of 2013 with him but live with him for the majority of it. I am a very lucky girl, I know that, so I will celebrate.

      It's funny, exactly one year ago today I went and celebrated the new year of 2013 with Burt and a bunch of friends and right before midnight he asked me to be his new years kiss..I was so nervous! Now, just one year later, we live together and have a dog and a bird and share the most amazing life! The future is so exciting!

      I don't really have any specific things I would like to work on in this upcoming new year, mostly I would just like to not be so hard on myself. I am the only person who gets myself down. I have been told from many people, close friends and strangers, that my presence and personality help lift spirits and make people feel good. It seems odd to me that I have a power like over others but to myself it's not quite the same. I had a good conversation about this with a reader once and she said that she sees that in me. She also told me that it is easy to take other peoples problems and let them weigh you down instead. It seems strange, but it is true.

      Of all the new and exciting things 2013 brought (including my furry, hyper, smiley, happy, goofy, big baby, Vater) I now would like to welcome Bhoomi to our little family.

Isn't he just gorgeous?!

      Bhoomi is a Sun Conure. This means that since he is not just a regular Conure his green wings will eventually turn yellow and orange as he gets older. Right now he is only 3 months old, and he acts like it! You can tell that he really is a baby. He cries when you leave and loves to be cuddled. He also likes to be picked up and held to your chest like a baby instead of stepping on your finger. He things he is human. 

      Both Burt and I grew up having birds. He had a couple cocktails and I had a couple as well. I also had a couple parakeets and 6 finches. There was also this lady that lived across the street from me growing up who had over 24 pet parrots she would pay me to go clean their cages and play with them. So I have grown to love birds my whole life. Most people think it's odd to own one, but once you do you fall in love with them quickly. Bhoomi is just as affectionate and has as much personality as our dog, Vater. 

     We originally went to the pet store to get another cocktail but found this little cutie instead. We named him Bhoomi because that is the Indian word for earth and seemed to fit him.

      We were kind of worried to see how Vater would act around having a delicate little bird in the house, but it has been great. Vater was curious at first and wouldn't stop sniffing him. Eventually Vater started kissing him and Bhoomi would kiss his nose back. Now it's to the point where they pretty much ignore each other.

      I got two new animals in 2013..I wonder how many I will get in 2014?.. Hmm.. :)

Happy New Year!

Knotted.

      Stomach knotted, heart beating in my throat, eyes burning, shaky..this is how I feel when I know I have disappointed someone. I don't know if this is a good thing, but I have this constant urge to not let anyone down and keep people pleased with me. It's all I want, to just make people happy. But when I know I have not made someone happy it really gets to me..Bad..
      Today I lost it. I cried over knowing that I didn't do the best for someone..I do feel like I did my best, but it wasn't enough and that is what hurts the most. I never intend to make anyone upset, of course, but I guess it happens. Right as I was feeling my worst today I got a text from Burt out of the blue just letting me know he loves me. He had no idea what I was going through today but somehow knew he needed to just let me know. Later he continued to lift my spirit and assure me that everything will be ok, and he is completely right. No matter how hard I try I cannot please everyone. But I can keep trying. I should just not let the small things get to me. I can be so sensitive sometimes.

      On a lighter note, I got to spend some time today with my mom and sister. We make candy every year at my moms to give as little gifts to people. I look forward to this every year. Of course, this year I couldn't eat any because what we made was not vegan..oh well.

Here are some photos from today. Candy and cute little monsters..my favorite things.

Challenge.

And again, I start of with saying 'it's been a while.' This is something that will probably never change. I'm lucky I write on here as often as I do, anyway. 

Life has just been soo busy lately! Not in a bad way either. I am not stressed or overwhelmed, just busy. 

And I like it. 

A lot.

Photography has been taking over my life, in a good way. When I am not doing a photo shoot I find my mind constantly sifting though ideas of new things to try. A little glimpse of something will spark my imagination and get me excited to try something new. 

Even though my creative juices are flowing nicely, I still feel as though I could use more practice and better myself. I always feel that way, but lately I am craving this! I have been reading a lot about photographers I look up to and their creative minds and a lot of their advise is to just keep shooting. The more you shoot the more practice. That's what is important..

Practice, practice, practice!

I have a photo idea book I flip through every now and then, it has great thing in it. One idea in it is a 30 day photo challenge. This is always something that I have wanted to try but haven't yet. I would like to take every photo in the challenge with my Canon and not my iPhone, but I find it difficult to carry my giant camera around with me unless I am going to shoot for a reason. But still, I am going to try to keep my iPhone out of this. 

The photo challenge they suggest is a thirty day self portrait challenge. This will be difficult for me because I do not take self portraits easily. Not that it's hard to set up a camera on self timer or anything, it's really not. It's just that I criticize myself so much to the point where I will actually make myself angry. 

The other day I had my boyfriend take some new head shots of me for my website. We went outside to a beautiful location with perfect overcast lighting. If it were anyone else in the photos I would of loved them. He snapped over 150 shots. When I uploaded them to my computer and deleted all the ones I hated of myself I ended up with just about 15. Even most of the ones I kept I am still not sure about.

I'm hoping to open my mind a bit with this challenge. I have to take one every day. They have to be about me or show me in some way, and I have to take the photo myself. That doesn't seem too bad right? It doesn't say my face has to be in every single one, I can do that!

Since I don't want to be showing a million self portraits of me on my photography page (weather or not my face is in them) I will be using this blog to document my photos. Maybe I will see some progress out of this, and maybe not. But it will be neat to see what kind of creative things I can come up with in the end.

Quick update on everything else in my life..Everything is great! Doing photography full time is something I have always wanted and so far it's going really well. 

I am trying to keep my head up about this weather, though. I need to keep photographing in it so it will inspire me and not get me down. I plan to use the cold season of being inside to better myself, physically and mentally. I have been working out and meditating, it's been wonderful. By the time the warm weather comes along again I am going to be prepared by feeling and looking great! That can't be soon enough.

Okay, photo one of this challenge.

I like this one, even though my face is in it. It being out of focus adds a softness where the black and white makes it look a little more dramatic.

Grazi.

       I don't know what it is about the holidays but I really love this time of year. I do absolutely hate, hate, hate, the weather this time of year here in Utah, but the feeling the holidays bring are always special. It's funny, the past years being married the holidays were filled with arguments and stress, then last year wasn't filled with anything, just loneliness. This year is going to be so much better! I am so excited to spend such a special time of year with someone I really care about. I'm excited to make a Thanksgiving dinner for us this week. I am excited to decorate our apartment all christmasy. I am excited to just be with him and share these special feelings. This year, finally, is going to be great!

      For Thanksgiving this year we are going to go to my sisters house and the entire family is in charge of bringing something. I, of course, got put in charge of bringing a vegetable tray for everyone. But I am really excited to eat and don't want to be limited to just a veggie try and some salad, I want an entire Thanksgiving dinner to eat! Sooo..Burt and I planned out everything. We are making a full on vegan thanksgiving dinner to bring for ourselves so we won't miss out on the deliciousness of this yummy holiday!
      Our thanksgiving dinner is going to consist of Tofurkey, gravy, sourdough stuffing, garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes, pull apart fluffy rolls, pumpkin pie with cloves, cranberry sauce, everything! And of course everything is going to be vegan and home made, all the way down to the rolls and pie crust. I'm excited to spend an entire day cooking. This will be fun! Oh, and I am sure we will have lots of left overs so if anyone wants to try some vegan thanksgiving food be my guest!

      This will actually be our second vegan Thanksgiving this year. Earlier this month we attended the Annual Vegan Thanksgiving dinner they hold every year in Salt Lake to raise money for the Ching Sanctuary Farm. Of course I couldn't miss out on that. I was very pleased with the amount of people that showed up! The food was delicious and they had a guest speaker, Bruce Friedrich. His speech was amazing and extremely informative. They also had a huge silent auction where I won a pig pillow!

..Surprise, surprise..

      Since it is the month of giving thanks I guess I should do so. But really, where do I even start? I can honestly say I am absolutely 100% thankful for every single thing and being in my life, and every single being that has been or will be in my life. I am thankful for life in general. Every little bit of it!

Grazi.

Oh, and I just had to share one of my new favorite things about the holiday season!..

(Especially the mint chocolate coconut milk! YUM!)