The Future is Exciting.

      First, I would like to say..I did keep up on my photo challenge, for quite a while actually. The only problem is that I didn't always have time to put the photos onto my computer so they stayed in my memory card on my camera. Well, I was doing a photo shoot one day and formatted my card so all those pictures are now lost. I actually had some pretty cool ones too. I am going to start over, but I have decided to start on the 1st.

      Can you believe it's already pretty much 2014?! I can't. I keep hearing everyone talking about their goals and what they would like to accomplish in this upcoming new year and it's really got me thinking. I don't typically make new year goals because I tend to forget about them. This year, though, there are some things I would like to improve. Not specifically any goals I would like to hit or anything, just some things I think I can work on. Thats one great thing about having a new year, feeling like you have another chance at things and to better yourself. A fresh start..

      Although 2012 was one of the most difficult years I have ever had to deal with, 2013 ended up being almost a million times better. There are things from 2012 that kind of rolled into 2013 I am still having to deal with, but the fact that 2013 was so much of an improvement from 2012 I expect 2014 to be even a million times better than that!

      So far I will be starting off the new year very much under the weather. I have whatever it is that is going around, coughing up my guts and what not, but I am not going to let that stop me from celebrating the end of 2013! 2013 deserves to be celebrated for me. I feel that I accomplished so much and improved myself in so many ways. Not only that but I changed my entire life, literally! I moved a LOT, met the most amazing people and have so many of the closest friends that in 2012 I hardly even knew or hadn't even met yet. And not to mention, met the most amazing man and have had the opportunity to not just spend all of 2013 with him but live with him for the majority of it. I am a very lucky girl, I know that, so I will celebrate.

      It's funny, exactly one year ago today I went and celebrated the new year of 2013 with Burt and a bunch of friends and right before midnight he asked me to be his new years kiss..I was so nervous! Now, just one year later, we live together and have a dog and a bird and share the most amazing life! The future is so exciting!

      I don't really have any specific things I would like to work on in this upcoming new year, mostly I would just like to not be so hard on myself. I am the only person who gets myself down. I have been told from many people, close friends and strangers, that my presence and personality help lift spirits and make people feel good. It seems odd to me that I have a power like over others but to myself it's not quite the same. I had a good conversation about this with a reader once and she said that she sees that in me. She also told me that it is easy to take other peoples problems and let them weigh you down instead. It seems strange, but it is true.

      Of all the new and exciting things 2013 brought (including my furry, hyper, smiley, happy, goofy, big baby, Vater) I now would like to welcome Bhoomi to our little family.

Isn't he just gorgeous?!

      Bhoomi is a Sun Conure. This means that since he is not just a regular Conure his green wings will eventually turn yellow and orange as he gets older. Right now he is only 3 months old, and he acts like it! You can tell that he really is a baby. He cries when you leave and loves to be cuddled. He also likes to be picked up and held to your chest like a baby instead of stepping on your finger. He things he is human. 

      Both Burt and I grew up having birds. He had a couple cocktails and I had a couple as well. I also had a couple parakeets and 6 finches. There was also this lady that lived across the street from me growing up who had over 24 pet parrots she would pay me to go clean their cages and play with them. So I have grown to love birds my whole life. Most people think it's odd to own one, but once you do you fall in love with them quickly. Bhoomi is just as affectionate and has as much personality as our dog, Vater. 

     We originally went to the pet store to get another cocktail but found this little cutie instead. We named him Bhoomi because that is the Indian word for earth and seemed to fit him.

      We were kind of worried to see how Vater would act around having a delicate little bird in the house, but it has been great. Vater was curious at first and wouldn't stop sniffing him. Eventually Vater started kissing him and Bhoomi would kiss his nose back. Now it's to the point where they pretty much ignore each other.

      I got two new animals in 2013..I wonder how many I will get in 2014?.. Hmm.. :)

Happy New Year!

Knotted.

      Stomach knotted, heart beating in my throat, eyes burning, shaky..this is how I feel when I know I have disappointed someone. I don't know if this is a good thing, but I have this constant urge to not let anyone down and keep people pleased with me. It's all I want, to just make people happy. But when I know I have not made someone happy it really gets to me..Bad..
      Today I lost it. I cried over knowing that I didn't do the best for someone..I do feel like I did my best, but it wasn't enough and that is what hurts the most. I never intend to make anyone upset, of course, but I guess it happens. Right as I was feeling my worst today I got a text from Burt out of the blue just letting me know he loves me. He had no idea what I was going through today but somehow knew he needed to just let me know. Later he continued to lift my spirit and assure me that everything will be ok, and he is completely right. No matter how hard I try I cannot please everyone. But I can keep trying. I should just not let the small things get to me. I can be so sensitive sometimes.

      On a lighter note, I got to spend some time today with my mom and sister. We make candy every year at my moms to give as little gifts to people. I look forward to this every year. Of course, this year I couldn't eat any because what we made was not vegan..oh well.

Here are some photos from today. Candy and cute little monsters..my favorite things.

Challenge.

And again, I start of with saying 'it's been a while.' This is something that will probably never change. I'm lucky I write on here as often as I do, anyway. 

Life has just been soo busy lately! Not in a bad way either. I am not stressed or overwhelmed, just busy. 

And I like it. 

A lot.

Photography has been taking over my life, in a good way. When I am not doing a photo shoot I find my mind constantly sifting though ideas of new things to try. A little glimpse of something will spark my imagination and get me excited to try something new. 

Even though my creative juices are flowing nicely, I still feel as though I could use more practice and better myself. I always feel that way, but lately I am craving this! I have been reading a lot about photographers I look up to and their creative minds and a lot of their advise is to just keep shooting. The more you shoot the more practice. That's what is important..

Practice, practice, practice!

I have a photo idea book I flip through every now and then, it has great thing in it. One idea in it is a 30 day photo challenge. This is always something that I have wanted to try but haven't yet. I would like to take every photo in the challenge with my Canon and not my iPhone, but I find it difficult to carry my giant camera around with me unless I am going to shoot for a reason. But still, I am going to try to keep my iPhone out of this. 

The photo challenge they suggest is a thirty day self portrait challenge. This will be difficult for me because I do not take self portraits easily. Not that it's hard to set up a camera on self timer or anything, it's really not. It's just that I criticize myself so much to the point where I will actually make myself angry. 

The other day I had my boyfriend take some new head shots of me for my website. We went outside to a beautiful location with perfect overcast lighting. If it were anyone else in the photos I would of loved them. He snapped over 150 shots. When I uploaded them to my computer and deleted all the ones I hated of myself I ended up with just about 15. Even most of the ones I kept I am still not sure about.

I'm hoping to open my mind a bit with this challenge. I have to take one every day. They have to be about me or show me in some way, and I have to take the photo myself. That doesn't seem too bad right? It doesn't say my face has to be in every single one, I can do that!

Since I don't want to be showing a million self portraits of me on my photography page (weather or not my face is in them) I will be using this blog to document my photos. Maybe I will see some progress out of this, and maybe not. But it will be neat to see what kind of creative things I can come up with in the end.

Quick update on everything else in my life..Everything is great! Doing photography full time is something I have always wanted and so far it's going really well. 

I am trying to keep my head up about this weather, though. I need to keep photographing in it so it will inspire me and not get me down. I plan to use the cold season of being inside to better myself, physically and mentally. I have been working out and meditating, it's been wonderful. By the time the warm weather comes along again I am going to be prepared by feeling and looking great! That can't be soon enough.

Okay, photo one of this challenge.

I like this one, even though my face is in it. It being out of focus adds a softness where the black and white makes it look a little more dramatic.