Grazi.

       I don't know what it is about the holidays but I really love this time of year. I do absolutely hate, hate, hate, the weather this time of year here in Utah, but the feeling the holidays bring are always special. It's funny, the past years being married the holidays were filled with arguments and stress, then last year wasn't filled with anything, just loneliness. This year is going to be so much better! I am so excited to spend such a special time of year with someone I really care about. I'm excited to make a Thanksgiving dinner for us this week. I am excited to decorate our apartment all christmasy. I am excited to just be with him and share these special feelings. This year, finally, is going to be great!

      For Thanksgiving this year we are going to go to my sisters house and the entire family is in charge of bringing something. I, of course, got put in charge of bringing a vegetable tray for everyone. But I am really excited to eat and don't want to be limited to just a veggie try and some salad, I want an entire Thanksgiving dinner to eat! Sooo..Burt and I planned out everything. We are making a full on vegan thanksgiving dinner to bring for ourselves so we won't miss out on the deliciousness of this yummy holiday!
      Our thanksgiving dinner is going to consist of Tofurkey, gravy, sourdough stuffing, garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes, pull apart fluffy rolls, pumpkin pie with cloves, cranberry sauce, everything! And of course everything is going to be vegan and home made, all the way down to the rolls and pie crust. I'm excited to spend an entire day cooking. This will be fun! Oh, and I am sure we will have lots of left overs so if anyone wants to try some vegan thanksgiving food be my guest!

      This will actually be our second vegan Thanksgiving this year. Earlier this month we attended the Annual Vegan Thanksgiving dinner they hold every year in Salt Lake to raise money for the Ching Sanctuary Farm. Of course I couldn't miss out on that. I was very pleased with the amount of people that showed up! The food was delicious and they had a guest speaker, Bruce Friedrich. His speech was amazing and extremely informative. They also had a huge silent auction where I won a pig pillow!

..Surprise, surprise..

      Since it is the month of giving thanks I guess I should do so. But really, where do I even start? I can honestly say I am absolutely 100% thankful for every single thing and being in my life, and every single being that has been or will be in my life. I am thankful for life in general. Every little bit of it!

Grazi.

Oh, and I just had to share one of my new favorite things about the holiday season!..

(Especially the mint chocolate coconut milk! YUM!)

   
   

We Are One.

      Why do people think that it is human nature to compete with others? It's not. And especially not with your friends. I am a firm believer in this, but still need a constant reminder that we all, every single living being, are one.
I understand that competition is a good thing, it keeps us striving to be better. But there is a big difference between trying to be better then everyone else and trying to be the best you that you can be.

      I am not one for competition at all, but if someone puts themselves in competition with you, you feel it. They may never come up to you and say 'Oh, just so you know, I going to be better then you', but they don't need to. When someone puts you in that category of theirs it creates a different vibe between you and that person. Am I wrong?

      Yesterday I went to a business meeting and sat and spoke with this lady for an hour or so. I'm not sure how but we got in conversation about our lives and what we believe. She started asking me some questions about my beliefs and I didn't really know what to say. What do I believe? I told her how I feel about this world, the animals and nature, how I feel we are connected. I also told her that I do not eat animals and have this strange compassion for ever living being. After giving her this information she turned to me and asked 'Are you Buddhist?' I kind of giggled and said no, but was actually flattered by her question.
      Honestly, I don't really know much about Buddhism so I couldn't tell you if I am Buddhist or not. I do not care to fit into a specific category. As I have explained in a previous blog post, I believe what I believe and everyone else can believe what they believe, thats that. But for some reason her words inspired me to go home and look into my beliefs a little bit.
      I am one of those people who love watching documentaries, typically about food, but I haven't thought much about venturing further into the documentary world to see what else there is to offer. I came across something that sounded kind of interesting to me. It is a documentary called 'I Am.' written and directed by Tom Shadyac. This is the same director that did Bruce Almighty, and Aceventura, so naturally I was drawn to it. This documentary ended up being more then I had ever expected. I feel like it took my feelings about everything and put them into words that made perfect sense, and with scientific reasoning. By far the best documentary I have seen. It made me feel great! I felt like going outside and giving everyone I could see a huge hug just to celebrate our lives together and to let them know I care.
      It also made me realize more then ever that we really are all one. There is no competition here, not with anyone. Keep the comparison within. Now, I can say this for myself but what happens when I feel that someone has put me in that category of competition for them? I won't be able to help but feel that I have been placed in that spot. I think the best thing to do when feeling that way is to be kind and hope that one day they will come to this realization as well.

Namaste.

In Loving Memory.

        Twenty years and it still feels like yesterday. It's been really hard growing up without a mom and a dad. I am very lucky to have the family I have but I really miss her, of course. Maybe it would of been a little easier if her death wasn't so sudden, but maybe not. It was really shocking and difficult for the entire family.
      November 11th will always be the worst day I have ever had in my entire life. At age 5 everything that happened on that day didn't make any sense to me, and to be honest it still doesn't. I don't mean to get all sappy or anything, but every single year this day is really hard for me. You'd think it would get easier as time goes on but it doesn't.

      My mom was a picture taker just like me. She took pictures of every single occasion. Because of this I have a shoe box full of a million photos of just me and only a few of her..and only ONE of her and I together, and it's not even a very great photo. These photos are still my most prize possessions, just knowing that she took them. They are my memories of this whole different life I had. The one I was supposed to have. I think this is one reason why photography is so important to me.

 This is the one photo of my family all together. My big brother, Cory, mom and then me.

My mom on the right.

My mom on the left (Always so smiley!) and my Aunt Cindy on the right. (Who also died suddenly last year. I miss you too.)

Aunt Diane. Aunt Cindy. My mom (with a giant smile like usual) Then my Aunt Terri)

My mom with my big brother, Cory.

Another with her and Cory together.

I love you, mom!