Loss

      I'm sitting here in my apartment staring out the window at all the giant falling snowflakes thanking myself that I did not make any big plans today. I hate driving in snow. I do have lots to do, places to go and people to see, but instead I am taking a break. I'm going to stay in my cozy little apartment (still with empty walls and couchless) and eat my oatmeal while catching up on some editing. Sounds like a good plan to me.

      This past week has been very busy and a little strange. I'm frustrated and sad about so many things right now, but I still keep my chin up. I am doing great!
It always seems as though bad things happen at once, and thats how I have been feeling. It's been frustrating dealing with a divorce. Not because it's so life changing but because it comes along with so many other issues..money, family, an ex husband that wont leave you alone, judgement, stress..It's all a constant struggle. Things need to die down a bit and start looking up asap.
I went to go sell my wedding ring to help me get on my feet a little bit and cannot seem to find the ring anywhere. I don't even know what to do, just keep looking I guess.

      Earlier this week something happened that took my mind off of absolutely everything else. My aunt died. It was sudden and not expected at all which makes it much more difficult. I have dealt with so much death in my life..and not just death, but death of loved ones. You'd think maybe you could get used to this kind of tragedy but it is impossible.
      The beginning of November always shakes me up a bit. It is the anniversary of a few different deaths now, including my mothers. It will be the anniversary of her death on Sunday. I always try to go visit her grave every year on the day but haven't been for a while now. Luckily, I now live right down the street from Mt Olivet which is where she is buried. I do enjoy going there, it is the most gorgeous grave yard I have ever seen. It's huge and very old. There are giant headstones and statues of angels, tombs, grassy hills, giant weeping willow trees, and deer everywhere! If I ever became a vampire, thats where I would crash.
      Anyway, so I have a funeral to attend on Monday. I do not like funerals at all, who does? But I do love seeing all of my family. Thats the only time we all get together is when someone dies, which seems to happen as often as a family reunion should.
      I am so blessed to have the family I have. They are the strongest people I know, I guess we all kind of have to be. I love them!