Don't worry though, I am not sad, I am actually quite opposite. I feel like things are finally starting to fall into place! Finally! I feel so at home in my little apartment in the middle of this city. (even though I still am couchless and it is frustrating..hopefully not for too much longer.)
I kind of feel like I spiraled down really fast for a minute in life, but Iv caught myself and am slowly climbing back up. People make mistakes. Shit happens. Whatever..
Live and learn, right?
I'm blessed to have the people in my life that I do. They love me no matter what and care about the decisions I make and how they will effect me. But no matter what happens, they stay by me and help lead me in the right direction. I love life because of them.
I put in my two weeks notice at my job yesterday. I have been a medical assistant at a family practice for just about 4 years now. I never really wanted to get into the medical field, it was honestly something I just fell into. When the ex-husband was my boyfriend I had lost my job so his mother is the one that gave me the job at the clinic..and I have been there ever since. I am grateful, of course, to have had the opportunity to work there and help so many people. I have also made some very close friends. I will miss working with them terribly, but will make an effort to keep them in my life as much as possible. Being in one place for four years with the same girls every day, you can't help but grow close to each other, we act like sisters.
But despite my good friends and the great job it was, you can imagine how it would be working there along with your ex-family. That is not the only reason why I decided to leave though, I have wanted to leave for years. It was just not at all for me. I think of the divorce as a push in the direction that I have been longing to travel, but for some reason have been so stuck in the same spot, doing the same thing every damn day..it's tiring to even think about.
I look back at my life and what it was for the past few years..it was nothing. Of course I did do things I love, but not how I wanted to. I didn't see the people I love in my life as often as I would of liked to. I didn't do so much that I have wanted to do and have done, just in these past couple months, since I have decided to make this drastic change. I really was stuck, I can't describe it any other way. Don't get me wrong, the life I had was good and maybe perfect for some people, but not for me. Not at all for me. It just took a little while to open my eyes and see that.
Since I have been on my own, meeting so many new people and making wonderful new friends, thinking new thoughts, hearing new music, seeing amazing new things, I feel I have grown so much. I have changed drastically in this short amount of time, I see it in myself. Everything is more beautiful to me, I even laugh louder. I am learning what I really want in life and I am on my way.
In just a couple weeks I start my new job as a nanny for a lovely little family not to far from my home. It's a big step for me and a bit of a risk due to a pay cut, but I am so willing to risk money for my happiness. I am ecstatic! I am also going to start picking up more photo shoots, which is something I have also been wanting to do but have felt too stressed and drained to even start again.
It's a big sign that something needs to change if you don't even have the energy to do what you love.
I love taking pictures. I am going to find that again.
I got an e-mail from the universe the other day. My favorite words by far:
You ready for some firsts? Are you? Yodeling, The Universe
I am more than ready.
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